The chronology of martial arts is long and turbulent. It began when our cavemen ancestors realized they could use animal bones and stones to make their enemies unalive. Throughout history, humanity has been finding more efficient ways to incapacitate enemies. While martial arts are relics of numerous wars, they are still an excellent defense. Now that hand-to-hand warfare has become obsolete, people practice martial arts for sports or protect themselves. Yet, the question is how to protect ourselves from people who know martial arts? This top ten list will try to answer that, taking the example of some of the most famous martial artists of all time.

10. Miyamoto Musashi

Musashi is the most famous samurai that ever lived. His legendary deeds include defeating the entire Yoshioka Clan. During that battle, he invented Ni Ten Ichi Ryu, the style of fighting with two swords. After beating all worthy opponents, Musashi settled down and became an artist, writer, and philosopher. 

Now, how to defeat someone like Musashi? Considering he didn't believe in a fair fight and used underhanded tactics to gain the advantage, there's a legit way to dominate him. Musashi lived in the post-Sengoku era when firearms were already part of warfare. Therefore, sniping him from a safe distance is the way to go. Would that make us look like cowards? Absolutely. Do we care? Not at all.

9. Mas Oyama

The famous founder of Kyokushin Karate, Mas Oyama, was an overall scary man. After avoiding the military draft in Japan, he secluded himself in the mountains and trained in inhumanly harsh conditions. Two years later, he returned and defeated all Japanese martial arts masters. Kyokushinkai Karate is the essence of Budo, a combat principle, and it's the most challenging style to master. 

How to deal with someone like Mas Oyama? Well, he liked to fight bulls and jump over cars to exhibit his skills. Therefore, either inject the bull with a hefty dose of bath salts or take the car's wheel and run him over. Yes, we know this is the peak of dishonesty. 

8. Masahiko Kimura

Legendary Masahiko Kimura put himself on the map when he defeated Helio Gracie in the first mixed martial arts match. Furthermore, the move Kimura defeated Gracie was invented on the spot and got the name after the winner. Kimura wasn't the half-measure martial artist, and his training regiments were comparable with Kyokushin in terms of harshness. 

Defeating a human fighting machine like Kimura would be very hard in his prime. The wisest thing to do is wait for him to reach older years, then challenge him in open rules combat. After that, pray he doesn't make up any new technique on the spot. Just in case, practice writing with your non-dominant hand.

7. Bruce Lee

We all know who Bruce Lee was and what he could do to people. Arguably the best martial artist of the 20th century, Bruce Lee was an innovator and an improver of traditional martial arts. What he left after him was a foundation for MMA and self-defense systems worldwide. There are a few people more dangerous than prime Bruce Lee. 

How could anyone defeat someone like him? Not in a fair fight for sure. Spiking his pre-workout with LSD might do the job. No one could fight well while witnessing the ending scene of "2001: Space Odyssey" right in front of his eyes. Alternatively, give him one of the drinks that would make him harmless. That distraction might give you an opening to deal a deciding blow. 

6. Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has a particular reputation that makes him someone you don't want to fight. How are you supposed to defy a man who could roundhouse kick you into the next Saturday? Despite the dreadful amount of Internet jokes, Chuck Norris is a respectable martial artist with more than 60 years of experience. Even in his 80s, he could probably deliver some severe beatings.

The only man who ever defeated Chuck Norris was our previous entry, Bruce Lee. Unfortunately, he's not available to hire because he's deceased for 50 years. The next best thing would be to have a series of plastic surgeries to look like Bruce Lee and train the hardest. After you finish your "bruceleefication," just appear in front of Chuck. He would probably be too surprised to even raise his guard, so you can blindside him with a vicious strike.  

5. Mike Tyson

Out of all boxes that ever lived, Iron Mike was the scariest, for his violent ways in the ring and out of it. He was a crazy badass boxer, an offensive counter puncher, the most dangerous style to learn. Also, he was infamous for his wild and unpredictable behavior, which resulted in a prison sentence. 

Mike had one weak spot when he was fighting outside of the ring. He frequently broke his hands as he punched too hard. Knowing this, the strategy for facing Iron Mike is quite clear. Just challenge him outside the ring and place your forehead in the way of his fist. With a bit of luck, Iron Mike would end up with broken hands.

4. Steven Seagal 

Steven Seagal might not be the best Aikido practitioner of all time, but he promoted Aikido better than anyone. His fighting skills are inversely proportional to his acting skills. Hence, that means Steven really comprehends how to fight. He's also a New Mexico deputy and knows his ways around guns. 

The thing with Aikido is that it only works with pre-choreographed attacks. Anything that isn't a forward stab with a knife or vertical chop will leave an aikidoka confused. It's up to you to use that moment of hesitation to deliver a coup de grace. A good groin kick would do the job.

3. Brock Lesnar

This walking mountain of muscles is one of the most decorated professional wrestlers of all time. But he's also a former UFC heavyweight champion. A mere look at his figure shuns even a speck of fighting spirit. His wrestling and fighting skills are surprisingly good, considering his size and stature. 

Lesnar has two significant flaws you can base your strategy around. The first is his stamina, as he wears down pretty quickly. The second is his inability to take a punch. Therefore, phase one of defeating Brock Lesnar is to make him tired. The best method we can think of is running away from him. After he's tired enough, tell him wrestling's fake and strike hard while he's processing what you just said.

2. Jean Claude Van Damme

The "Muscles from Brussels" did amazing things to promote karate and kickboxing. He demonstrated speed, grace, and power in his movies and made millions of boys enroll in karate lessons. Jean Claude's trademark is aerial jump kicks that look like gravity doesn't work for him. 

Jean Claude is very emotional and has a quick temper. You could mention Leopold II, the king of Belgium, and his crimes against people. If you don't want to go political, you can talk about Jean Claude's sexual orientation. He'll get enraged and try to helicopter kick your head off. Use that chance to duck under his kick and deliver a JCVD trademark punch to the groin. 

1. Mirko Cro Cop

Mirko Cro Cop might not be the best MMA fighter ever, but he was the most intimidating. His ice-cold demeanor and deadly kicks made him a reputation as a feared fighter. Watching Cro Cop taking heads in the ring motivated a lot of tough guys to steer clear from MMA. His speed, power, and accuracy with kicks made Cro Cop a living MMA legend.

 Cro Cop's specialty is fighting in the boxing ring to trap his opponents in a corner. Therefore, the first step would be fighting Cro Cop anywhere else. Then, try to circle on his right side, so he can't hit you with his left punch or kick. After that, pray that he'll run out of patience and attack blindly, so you can counter him.  

We hope we don't have to mention these are all fantasy scenarios. All the people on this list dedicated their lives to martial arts, and they are as dangerous as they come. Yes, even Steven Seagal. The purpose of this article is to have a few laughs, and we don't recommend challenging any of these people, at least not the living ones.

Of all these men, who would you fight if you had to? What kind of tactics would you use to win or at least survive?